…because your smile should be white and bright!
- No awkward strips!
- No bad-tasting gels!
- No expensive lasers!
*Whew*, got that outta the way. Now that I’m done with the bleached/saccharine/soulless part of this article, it’s time to get into the real meat and potatoes! And if you eat a lot of either, you probably wanna check out the other Health & Beauty articles, too. You’ll probably want your teeth to be whiter, too, so you’ve found yourself in the right article. I’ll get to that in just a second though…after you’ve whitened your teeth and lost some weight, check out the Love & Relationships section. Lol…I’m not really suggesting people be more shallow than they already are…well, I suppose, by providing links to teeth whiteners and weight loss…I kinda am. Oh well, it’s life, learn to deal with it…or don’t, but don’t come crawlin’ back then. 
“True White can fit in with your busy lifestyle…the easy-to-use whitening sticks taste great and…um…whiten your teeth…they take only minutes to use so they’re great if you’re always on-the-go. You just spend five minutes using it and wait for your teeth to shine.” Seriously, who writes this stuff? I’m gonna ask you—no, I’m gonna beg you—if you’re reading this, please sign up for a free trial, because they need new copywriters (yeah, I paraphrased the first sentence, but at least mine is supposed to be dumb…and I thought it was funny 
).
Man…even that last line sucked! You know it’s bad when I have to put a final note after the link…PLEASE! I’m begging you, sign up for their FREE TRIALS, pay the S&H (I’ll tell you what…if you sign up for the free trial off this link, and email me here, I’ll even refund* your S&H fees…that’s how badly I want them to write better copy!) Seriously…who even uses the word porosities? (btw…it’s a real word, it means the spaces or pores in a material…but come on, I was so sure it was made-up when I read it I had to check…and I see all sorts of crazy stuff online all the time!)
*Interested in that refund? Here’s what you gotta do: send a copy of the emailed receipt (use MS Paint or whatever to black out any financial information or your address; you must include the transaction/order ID), and I’ll refund you the S&H, up to $4.95 for First Class as soon as I can confirm the transaction (sorry, I’m not payin’ for you to overnight it lol).
[...] gonna offer the same deal here that I did for True White…click on the top or bottom link here, order the free trial, email me here with a copy of the [...]